We get asked a lot about "how to use a dildo". And while it's an extremely important question, one which you might argue is extremely vital to know if you wish to add these unique and versatile sex toys to your collection, it's also one which we quite often find ourselves struggling to answer.
Because "how to use a dildo" implies that there's one right way, and that every other way of approaching the situation is therefore incorrect.
And that couldn't be further from the truth!
Right here, right now, before we get any further into this article, that's the number one thing that all you readers need to understand: there is no one right way to use a dildo.
Dildos are, just as we described them above, versatile. That means that they can bring pleasure to you and your partner in so many different ways - and every single one of those ways is completely valid.
The correct way to use a dildo is, simply put, "any way which gets you off and makes you feel good".
Maybe you like to keep things simple and traditional, and solely like using your dildo to penetrate yourself vaginally when you're by yourself in the bedroom. And that's great!
Or perhaps owning a dildo has emboldened you and given you new courage to try out things which you never dared to previously explore, and have discovered a love for masturbating while using the toy to stimulate your asshole. Fantastic!
Maybe penetration isn't your thing at all, and you prefer to use the dildo by stroking and rubbing it against your clit or the head of your penis, because this type of external play is what causes you to have the most satisfying and explosive of orgasms. Wonderful!
How about if masturbation isn't your thing, and you only bring the dildo out when in bed with your partner?
Amazing! Using a dildo to bring your deepest, darkest threesome fantasies to life by sticking two cocks at once deep inside you? Sexy!
Strapping one into a comfy, well-fitted harness and pegging your man until he reaches the brink of ecstasy? Awesome! Giving one as a gift to your friend at her bachelorette party? Putting a particularly artistic blown-glass model on your mantelpiece as a decoration?
Finding one the exact size of your partner's cock and using it to improve your deep-throating skills? Incorporating one into a costume or drag ensemble? Yes, yes, to all of the above, yes!
So we can't tell you how to use a dildo, because that's something that you - and any partners who you choose to include - need to figure out for yourself.
But what we can do is provide you with a few ideas to get you started, as well as a few tips and tricks for using your dildo as effectively as possible and getting the most pleasure and function possible out of whichever strategy you ultimately happen to choose.
Unique Uses For Your Dildo
You probably know by now that most dildos can be safely and effectively used for both vaginal and anal penetration.
These are generally considered to be the "standard" uses of the dildo, and the uses which sex toy retailers and manufacturers will tend to focus on in their dildo-centered advertising campaigns.
However, here at Lovegasm, we fully believe in educating our customers about ALL the possible uses of the dildo, from the vanilla to the kinky, and from the standard to the slightly bizarre to the truly off the wall.
So while we know that the list below will be far from exhaustive, here is a small selection of our personal favorite "unconventional" uses for dildos:
-
Friction. Dildos don’t have to go inside you. These versatile toys can play a role in the bedroom even if no penetration whatsoever is involved.
Rubbing the tip of your dildo over your breasts or clitoris (for women) or the head or underside of your penis and your testicles (for men) can create an extremely pleasing sensation of friction.
If you enjoy masturbating via rubbing yourself but are getting a little bored of only feeling your own fingers, try substituting in the head of your dildo instead for something brand new but just as arousing. To spice things up further, you can slather your dildo in a little bit of your favorite lube!
-
Practice / Training. We admit it – sex can be scary.
Trying something new in the bedroom, no matter how much you may want it, can start out as extremely intimidating.
We’ve all been there, the request on the tip of our tongue but too shy to vocalize it to our partners for fear of messing up or doing something wrong or somehow creating an experience more disastrous than pleasurable. But fear not – this is an area in which dildos can come to your rescue.
You can use a dildo to practice any number of cock- or toy-focused sexual acts before trying them out in the bedroom.
To give just a few examples, you can try deep-throating a dildo to improve your oral sex skills or try dildos in multiple holes to experiment with double penetration.
Everything from a new kink to a new sex position can be practiced, experimented and improved on with the aid of a dildo.
Your confidence will grow with each practice session and, before you know it, you and your partner will be effortlessly incorporating the new pleasure method into your bedroom fun!
-
Double Penetration / Threesome Fantasies
Women and other vagina-having individuals, have you ever dreamed of having two dicks jammed deep inside you, pleasuring both of your holes at once until you can no longer hold in your screams of pleasure?
Men and those with cocks, have you wondered what it might feel like to be one of those penises, being just one of many sources of pleasure that your partner receives as she gets to experience her holes being totally stuffed?
Don’t worry, sex-focused research studies have shown that double penetration and threesomes are among some of the most common fantasies shared by people all over the world. But actually incorporating another person into your bedroom dynamic isn’t for everyone.
It can be nerve-wracking and lead to complicated emotions for all people involved.
Now, there’s a way to fulfill each and every one of those fantasies you’ve been nursing in secret WITHOUT needing to deal with any of the obstacles that come with adding in a third or fourth to your relationship.
The answer, of course, is none other than a dildo! A dildo – or several – can easily play the role(s) of the additional penises in these scenarios without feelings ever needing to become involved!
Dildos don’t get jealous, there’s no risk of developing weird feelings for them, and, best of all, they don’t hog the covers during the post-coital cuddling. With a dildo or two, your every fantasy can now become reality!
-
Getting Kinky. Of course, playing around with a dildo on its own can be considered a kink, but dildos can also be used to help you fulfill any number of other kinks which you or your partner might possess.
For example, you could get your hands on a double-headed dildo and use it to penetrate the both of you simultaneously. Alternately, you could buy a harness along with your dildo and use your brand new strap-on to try out some pegging or role reversal.
Glass and metal dildos are excellent for temperature play, while dildos with vibration capability or “rabbit ears” to tease the clitoris are amazing if over-stimulation or multiple orgasms are more your thing.
Basically, if you’ve got a kink, odds are very likely that there’s at least a few ways in which your dildo can help bring it to life!
-
Gifting. Of course, a dildo is probably not ever going to be the first thing that comes to mind when you think about getting someone important in your life a present.
And it’s true, a dildo is not necessarily the perfect gift for every occasion or even every person. But there are a surprising number of times when a dildo makes a great gift idea!
You could surprise your partner with one on their birthday – in their favorite color and size, of course.
You could present one to a friend as a gag gift (or even a serious one) on an appropriate occasion, such as a bachelor or bachelorette party. You could even enter one into a White Elephant or other similarly goofy-themed gift exchange – if nothing else, the eventual recipient will surely be surprised!
-
Decoration. We love decorating almost as much as we love playing around with our favorite sex toys, so of course it was only natural that we would eventually come up with the idea of combining them!
While some dildos can be rather plain looking, while others try to match up as perfectly as possible to the appearance of a real life penis, it has also become increasingly easier to find models with very elaborate, fantastical and aesthetically pleasing appearances.
Nowadays, dildos come in all sorts of shapes, colors, patterns and texture, from glittery silicone models to delicate glass varieties. So why not use some decorative dildos to add a little sexy, unique flair to you and your partner’s bedroom – or “dungeon” if you are the type of couple to keep a special room solely dedicated to sexual play.
Some dildos, especially glass ones, even look so unlike sex toys that you could easily place them on the mantelpiece or coffee table and they would look like nothing more than cute little artsy pieces meant to add color to the room.
Just make sure to clean any “used” dildos off thoroughly before displaying them – and maybe consider putting them back in their boxes when your parents or grandparents or stuffy old aunts and uncles come for a visit!
-
It might sound utterly unbelievable, but it’s true. Dildos, especially larger models, are extremely thick and sturdy, with certain materials such as rubber and stainless steel also being fairly weighty.
You could easily scare away a would-be home intruder with a solid wallop from your biggest and bulkiest toy. Not to mention, they make a pretty effective visual deterrent as well. Imagine the sight of a horse-sized dildo swinging towards your head – it’s pretty terrifying, isn’t it?
Now, you shouldn’t use a dildo as your only source of self-defense – don’t throw away the pepper spray or disarm the security cameras just because you happen to have a big, weighty cock on hand.
But remember that it’s there as an option, especially if you happen to keep it close to your bed as you sleep!
Like we said, this list is just meant to provide a few unique and alternate options for pleasure and amusement which you may not have previously considered. It is by no means meant to include every single way in which a dildo can be used either in the bedroom or outside it.
We strongly encourage you to think up plenty of your own ways to get as much use as possible out of your favorite toys. In fact, if you come up with an exciting new use for your dildo, feel free to shoot us a message – we absolutely love hearing all the ways in which our customers put our products to good use. And who knows?
Your idea might even show up right here on our site on a list like this one someday!
Getting The Most Out Of Your Dildo
Now that we’ve covered some of the more unusual ways to get pleasure and fun out of your dildo, it’s time to move on to the second part of this article.
In this section, our Lovegasm staff members will share some of their favorite tips and tricks for getting the most out of your dildo. Because while there’s no “one right way” to use these exciting and erotic toys, there are definitely ways to make sure that your every experience is absolutely as pleasurable as possible.
First things first, always make sure to choose a dildo that works for you. Peoples’ tastes in everything from food to clothing to sex toys are extremely varied and unique.
What works for your friends or the actors in your favorite porn flick or even your partner may not necessarily work for you.
And that’s OK! Finding a dildo that makes you feel good is the number one way to make sure that you will thoroughly enjoy every sensual experience which you share with your brand new toy.
Continuing along that train of thought, another important tip is this: don’t be afraid to start small. Typically, the dildos you will see used in porn or advertised by sex toy retailers are of the “impossibly huge” and “imposing” varieties.
After all, those types of dildo are most likely to get – and keep – their intended audience’s attention.
In fact, this phenomenon is so prevalent, we wrote our very own article about it! (You can read our personal take on “If Size Doesn’t Matter, Why Are Dildos So Big?” right over here.)
But these advertisements definitely don’t mean that you need to start out with something long, thick and huge. In fact, most sex toy newbies will find themselves having a much more comfortable and pleasurable experience with something a little more average-sized.
Remember, the average erect human penis is only around 5 inches long and around an inch thick or even possibly a little thinner. So if you’re not sure where to get started, pick out something in that size range.
Remember, once you get more comfortable with the feeling of being stretched and stuffed full, if that’s something you enjoy, you can always purchase something larger and gradually work your way up to those huge “fantasy” dildos.
Alternately, you might find that the smaller dildos are exactly what you need and remain perfectly capable of scratching your every sexual itch. Both approaches are equally effective and equally valid!
Never, EVER use a dildo without applying the proper amount of lube. Although some parts of the human body, especially the vagina, can naturally produce their own lubricant, we still recommend adding in a little synthetic lube to further enhance the experience.
hoose an officially certified oil, water or silicone-based lube – don’t cheap out by using inferior household products such as soap or lotion.
ESPECIALLY do not rely on bodily fluids alone; saliva, semen, blood, urine and the like do NOT make acceptable lubricants.
Don’t forget to read up on your dildo’s properties before choosing a lube. Some dildo materials may not always be compatible with every type of lube available on the market. In particular, pure silicone dildos should never be used together with silicone-based lube, as the material reacts poorly with itself and can cause the dildo to rapidly decline in firmness and quality.
When it comes to using a dildo in the bedroom, foreplay is just as important as it is during more “standard” sexual intercourse.
Even if you are using a small or thin dildo, it’s important to get your body ready and relaxed before beginning any kind of penetration.
So don’t be afraid to take all the time you need to get yourself excited and ready to accept the dildo into yourself! Use your fingers – or even the tip of the dildo – to stimulate sensitive areas of your body such as the nipples, clitoris, testicles, or the head of the penis.
If you are going to be using your dildo to penetrate yourself anally, we also recommend inserting a finger or two beforehand to get everything loose and relaxed before introducing the dildo to your backdoor environment.
Once you get to actual penetration, another question arises: which ways and directions should you move the dildo in order to bring yourself the greatest amount of pleasure?
Some people prefer to stick to one type of movement, such as a straightforward thrust, throughout the entire play session. Meanwhile, others instead enjoy mixing it up and switching between a variety of different positions and movement types throughout the act.
For example, you might enjoy getting yourself worked up with deep thrusting but want to keep the movements smaller and less intense as your body grows more sensitive and reactive and you get gradually closer and closer to orgasm.
If you’re looking for some ideas to get you started, here are some of our favorite ways to bring ourselves pleasure with a dildo deep inside our body’s most sensitive holes.
Most of the suggestions listed here can be safely used for both vaginal and anal penetration, so keep that in mind and don’t ever be afraid to experiment!
Thrusting is probably the simplest motion which you can begin with, and also one of the most standard types of pleasuring yourself with a dildo.
If you’re an avid watcher of dildo-centric porn, you’ve probably seen this type of act performed a time or two before. Luckily, doing it to yourself is just as simple – and pleasurable – as it looks and sounds!
First, get a firm hold on the dildo. Your vagina and especially your asshole contain surprisingly strong muscles which, as your pleasure increases, have been known to clench and grip at the toy, sometimes even pulling it out of your hands entirely!
To avoid this, we recommend choosing either an extra-long dildo or one with a flare, knob, pair of molded balls or ring at the base that you can keep a firm grip on throughout your amorous activities. Then, insert the dildo as deeply as possible.
Next, pull it out until only the tip remains inside of you. (We recommend this rather than pulling out entirely, as you do not need to pause the action by fumbling around and relocating your desired hole with each thrust).
Continue these long, deep thrusts as you feel the pleasure build and build within you. For this, we recommend textured dildos with added ridges, ribs or patterns designed to enhance the experience.
You will feel them dragging and rubbing against your inner walls, resulting in an extremely pleasurable sensation which pushes you closer and closer to orgasm with each thrust.
Curved dildos also make an excellent option if you are a fan of thrusting, as they can make it easier to locate your G-spot (for vaginal penetration) or prostate (for anal) and accurately and firmly reach it with each and every thrust.
You can also mix up the speed and intensity of your thrusts for a more varied experience.
Alternate long, deep, slow thorough thrusts which reach your prostate or G-spot with short, shallow, rapid ones which focus on stimulating the rim of your chosen hole.
You can also add rocking or twisting motions, especially if you are using a textured dildo and want to feel the pleasurable add-ons as intensely as possible against your inner walls.
If you’re not a fan of thrusting, rocking and twisting are also great options for different and unique motions that you can try out which might be slightly less intense or painful at first.
These alternate motions are also extremely simple to carry out.
Once the dildo is inside of you, try wiggling it back and forth so that it brushes your walls with each motion. If you want to try more of a twisting movement, we recommend gripping the dildo in both hands in order to remain as stable as possible.
You can even purchase a dildo add-on such as a crank which you can turn to get that spinning inside of you which you so desperately crave!
Another option to try out if you’re looking for something new is, as strange as it may sound, avoiding any movement entirely. This allows you to take time to enjoy the feeling of your vaginal or anal walls being stretched out by a thick, girthy dildo.
Although this stretching may start out as a stinging or even painful feeling, it ultimately is quite pleasurable to many people. Dildo enthusiasts have described the stretch as "a feeling of fullness like absolutely nothing else".
You can also tease yourself by keeping the dildo still against your G-spot or prostate as your body becomes more and more desperate for even the slightest bit of stimulation.
This is a great way to drag things out if you are into orgasm delay - or, as it's also known, "edgeplay".
You can leave yourself trembling at the edge for minutes or even hours before finally allowing yourself a few deep thrusts with the dildo to push yourself over the edge.
When it comes to positions, once again, there's absolutely no such thing as a wrong answer. Focus on figuring out what feels good for you - which position is the most comfortable? Which brings you the most pleasure?
Which allows you to feel the most in control, able to confidently manipulate your dildo without any fear that it might slip out of your grasp?
We strongly encourage you to experiment with lots of different positions both during your solo sessions and when you and your partner are playing around with a dildo together.
If you're looking for a few examples to get you started, here are a few of our favorite positions for bringing ourselves to orgasm with our favorite dildos:
- Sitting on top of the dildo and riding it. Especially great if you have a "suction cup dildo" which can be used to attach firmly to walls, floors or furniture. (Read more here!)
- Lying on your back with your legs either up in the air or spread out in front of you. This is a classic, stable position which allows you to maintain a good amount of control over the motions of your dildo throughout the process.
-
Sitting up on a bed or other comfortable surface. This is another standard position which has the benefit of being extremely comfortable and can easily be maintained for long periods of time without becoming tired or sore.
If you have a full-length or other large mirror, try sitting in front of it so that you can watch the dildo thrusting in and out of you and see the expression on your face as you reach the peak of pleasure. It's a uniquely erotic experience which we cannot recommend enough!
- Hands and knees, aka "doggy style". This is a great position for anal penetration as it allows easy access to your ass while it is thrust in the air. Suction cup dildos are yet again a great option here, as you can attach them to a wall, door, bed headboard or mirror and just go crazy!
Of course, there's only one way to truly figure out which methods of using a dildo work best for YOU - and that's purchasing one and getting down to business!
So head over to our catalog, found here, to browse through our extensive collection of dildos in every size, color, texture, shape and pattern that you could possibly imagine.
Alternately, to learn more about what type of dildo might be just right for you, check out our guide to dildo sizes here or our list of recommended dildos for newbies here or adventurous, kinky sex toy veterans right over here.